Edward and the lightswitch
by Shinobu-Hime
Summary: Random moment in the Elric house involving energy, alchemy, and the hula. A collection of random one-shots for your entertainment.
1. Edward and the lightswitch

**What in the world a I doing? I have no idea, but thats what makes it fun. Let's see where this goes.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm pretty sure you knew that already but apparently I'm legally obligated to tell you.**

**

* * *

  
**

"Light, dark, light, dark, light, dark!" Edward exclaimed as he flipped the light switch up and down. Alphonse looked up from the book he had been reading and stared strangely at his older brother.

"Um... nii-san?" Al sort of whispered, not sure what the consequences would be for interrupting what appeared to be some form of hysteria.

"Light, dark, light, dark, light, dark!"

"Ed?"

"Light, dark, light dark."

"EDWARD SERIOUSLEY STOP IT!" He shouted, annoyed.

Ed stopped at a 'dark' moment so the room was pitch black as he paused and stared at younger brother in the corner momentarily before flipping the lights back on one final time.

"Light." He smiled, ecstatic, and began running around the room.

"What are you doing?"

"Adjusting the lights."

"Why?"

"Because they're sooooo bright and then they're sooooo dark! It's amazing!"

"Are you alright nii-san?"

"Alright? I'm better than alright! I'm fantastic!" At this point he started running in circles around the younger Elric.

"You sure? Because you seem kind of... hyper."

"I'm not hyper, I'm awake!"

"Obviously...what's got you so excitable?"

"Noooooooooooooothing."

Al raised an eyebrow suspiciously at his older brother.

"Oh really?"

Ed nodded exaggeratedly in response.

"So if call Winry right now she's not going to tell me a different story?"

Same exaggerated nod.

"We'll see about that." Alphonse picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Hi Winry, it's Al."

"Hey Al, what's up?"

"Was Ed over at your house earlier?"

"Hmm... he came over this morning but he left hours ago. Why, is something wrong?"

"Not exactly... he's just sort of acting like a three year old crack addict."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's put it this way... he just transmuted the rug into a skirt and is performing some sort of hula."

"You want me to come over?" She was quite obviously stifling laughter.

"No, it's ok. I just wanted to see if you knew what was up since he's sticking with the story that he's naturally like this."

"Mmkay, sorry I couldn't be of anymore help."

"Talk to you later."

"Bye."

They both hung up and Al once again turned towards Ed who had completed his hula and moved on the a rather misguided attempt at what appeared to be the cha-cha-slide.

"Are you ever going to calm down?"

"Dance with me Al!"

"That would be a no... I'm going to get some water, this looks like it could take awhile."

Al was slightly apprehensive about leaving Ed alone in a room in his current state but a quick evaluation of the situation lead him to the decision that the dancing would most likely continue plenty long enough for him to leave and be back unnoticed. Once in the kitchen he grabbed a glass, filled it with ice and began to add water from the sink when he noticed something sitting on the counter and suddenly everything made sense. He grabbed his glass and ran back into the main room where, as he had suspected, Edward was still dancing.

"Hey Al, Y-M-C-A!"

"Edward get over here and drink this."

"No!" He stopped dancing and started skipping.

"Edward!" Al set the glass down carefully before chasing after his brother.

"Haha, you can't catch me— oof." He spoke too soon as Alphonse tacked him with a rather unexpected flying leap.

"Water now."

Defeated, Edward listened and drank the glass of water as Al had requested. Four glasses later he was much calmer.

"That was awesome!"

"No Ed, it was not awesome, it was the opposite of awesome."

"Ah, come on Al!"

"Really Ed, you are never having Starbucks again."

* * *

**That was rather fun! Short yes, crack-ish diffidently, but still quite fun. You should review :) I miss writing these cracky comic-relief relief one-shots. See you next time!**

**-Shinobu**


	2. Does the Punishment Fit the Crime?

**I love randomness and life is stressful so let's embrace some fun ^^.**

**Disclaimer: Still no.**

**

* * *

**

Edward knocked on the door to the Rockbell home just as he had a million times before. He had become slightly annoyed that the door wasn't answered immediately, when it suddenly dawned on him that he really needn't knock at all and swung the door open himself.

"Hey Winry!" he shouted, "Where are you?"

The lights were off in the entryway, extremely unusual. He wandered aimlessly through the house momentarily, wondering where she could possibly be. Surely he would have known if she had been planning to go out somewhere.

_'I guess she's not here,'_ he thought to himself, but just as he was preparing to turn around and return to the front door, he stopped, Quite sure he had heard a faint sound down towards the end of the hallway. As he followed the sound, its volume began to increase and he realized that the once faint sound was actually some rather loud music which he traced to a closed door. The bright strip of light visible beneath its frame confirmed his suspicions.

'_Of course! Winry's here, she must not be able to hear me over the radio!'_ He laughed to himself for not considering this before.

_'I'll just let myself in'_.

The second he had twisted the doorknob and the door began to open, Edward realized he was probably going to be in a whole lot of trouble. There, on the other side of the door he found Winry. As he had predicted, the radio was turned all the way up. He had failed to predict that she would be in her underwear, singing her lungs out into a hairbrush. He couldn't help but stare in shock at Winry, who didn't immediately notice his presence.

"_What's going on on the floor?_

_I love this record baby_

_But I can't see straight anymore_

_Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?_

_I can't remember but it's alright,_

_alright_ _Just da—"_

"Ahh! What are you doing here you pervert?" Winry shouted, suddenly noticing Edward staring dumbfounded in her doorway. She grabbed a t-shirt that had been bunched up on the floor and half-hazardly tossed it as she simultaneously reached over and silenced the radio.

"Sorry... when you didn't answer the door I figured you couldn't hear me over the music…" Suddenly the ridiculousness of Winry being the type of girl who belts chart-topping hits into hairbrushes struck Ed as the most hilarious thought in the world and he dissolved into hysterical laughter.

"What's so funny?" Winry demanded, aiming her former 'microphone' at Edwards head with practiced accuracy.

"I'm-haha-sorry Winry-haha. It's not-haha-funny- I just-haha can't stop-haha-laughing!"

"Oh? We'll see who's laughing when this is all over!" She grabbed the laughing Ed and dragged him over to her closet, keeping a tight grip on his wrist to see that he could not escape. A relatively simple task considering his current incapacitating fit of laughter.

About an hour had passed when Alphonse Elric knocked on the door of the Rockbell redidence as he had a million times before.

"Hey Al, come on in!" Winry shouted. Admittedly Al found it a little strange that Winry hadn't simply answered the door personally, especially considered she had been the one to call and ask him to come over in the first place, but he opened the door nonetheless and walked in as if everything were normal.

"Where are you?" He called loudly from the main entryway.

"In my room! Like I said, just come on in!" The whole situation started to seem weirder and weirder by the moment. Alphonse shuffled down the hallway and opened the door into Winry's room, his eyes immedietly widened with shock.

"Winry... what did you do to nii-chan?" Edward had been taped to a chair, his blonde hair removed from the usual braid and instead curled into shiny intricate ringlets, his usual pants replaced with a disturbingly short plaid, pleated skirt which Alphonse knew for a fact Winry had let sit in her closet for years since without wearing, his normal shirt swapped out for a lacy red bra, and his face covered in make-up, including a pair of lips carefully drawn in over the tape that kept his mouth forcibly shut. Winry smiled, admiring her handy work.

"Your brother here needed to be punished." She smiled.

"Um... ok..." Alphonse gave his made-over brother a once over. "Wow Ed, you're kind of pretty as a girl." He laughed hysterically as he took in the sight of his elder brothers punishment for some unknown crime he had apparently committed against Winry. Edwards anger became clearly perceptible in his eyes as he strained against his bindings to no avail.

"Haha, I'll let him go in a minute, I just think there's one thing we need to do first" Winry chimed, pulling a small pink digital camera out of a nearby desk drawer. She snapped several pictures of her struggling prisoner before she placed the camera atop her dresser, pressed a few buttons and quickly ran behind Eds chair, dragging a surprised Alphonse along with her.

"Wait, what are you-"

"Smile!" Winry and Alphonse smiled and Edward scowled angrily as the camera flashed for their impromptu group shot.

Als hysterical laughter returned. "So are you going to let him go now?"

"Naw, he's gonna be really mad when he gets lose, let's go to your house for awhile and wait it out until he escapes."

* * *

**Let me hear a heck yes from all those people who sing into hairbrushes and dance around in their underwear! w00t! lol. Hope you enjoyed the randomness. Pwease review ^^. TTYL,** **-Shinobu**


End file.
